Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
