Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
