he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
