I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
