There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
