i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
