Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
