my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
