Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
