I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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