dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
