But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
