Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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