Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
