Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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