I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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