i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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