I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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