I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize