i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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