Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
