dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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