If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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