If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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