I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
