it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
