I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just googled if crying burns calories
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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