Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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