guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize