well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
