I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
