we're chasing vodka with high fives
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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