Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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