I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
