He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
