Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
