I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
