I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
