Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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