Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
