He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
