Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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