By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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