its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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