id be glad to
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
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