Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
