I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
