too bad you live with your parents still
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
