my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
