Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
