and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
