So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize