my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
