Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
