She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
