I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
