I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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