Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
