I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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