I was born with a shot glass in my hand
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
