He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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