Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
